Guess I’m not a rude boy…
So I was almost in a fight this weekend. Very exciting! So my two friends were sitting outside smoking their cigarillo while I was inside being molested by a 40 year old. The dude was very forceful and had biceps the size of my head. He was biting at my neck like he was R. Pat and I was NOT having that. So we messed around for ten minutes then I had to run.
So I get outside and see my friends sitting down smoking. After I sit down, I see that there is some rando dude sitting between my friends (yeah I was getting that drunk). My friends for that evening had been two gals I went to HS with. Initially I thought they knew him or had invited him to their table. Then one of my friends tells the dude to shut up and leave. I asked if they knew him and they said no, so I told the creeper to leave. Once politely, twice a little ruder. I don’t know if he didn’t understand English or if he just wanted to be an ass so he could get at my girls. He was clearly a FOB from Ghana (yes he was wearing the flag as an under shirt…I would have complemented had he not been a douche). Either way, he jumped up and started yelling at me like I had done something.
I jumped up too cuz he was knuckin’ and buckin’ and I was ready to fight. BUT, I had to be classy; I was wearing my Ellen outfit and I didn’t have the nerve to get into a fight with an immigrant because it might have just been a situation of miscommunication. Well, he keeps following me and yelling, “you want ME to leave dis floor-ah? You want ME to leave DIS FLOOR-AH!?” I was like “I don’t give a fuck where you go ya weak ass heffa just get the fuck up outta my face.”
Thankfully the girls pulled me inside cuz I was about to take the bottle in my hand and buss it across his face. At some point in the shuffle, someone bumped into the dude and shit fell out of his pocket. After security came and took him away, the girls went back and picked up the various items. They start examining it and we realize that they’re credit cards, all of which have different names on em. Then one of my friends finds her drivers license in the stack. All I could do was shake my damn head. Pitiful.
If there’s one thing you learn from this post, it’s never a good idea to fight at a club. Just make sure you pick their pockets before they get kicked out. Guess I’m not a rude boy…
