Idk…
So it’s been five days since “The Breakup”. We broke up because of religious differences. Isn’t that ironic…not really. Any way, he would always make comments wishing someone would get into a car accident with him so he could collect the insurance and get a new car. Yeah, he was one of those recessionista bastards. Well, on Friday I told him that he should really stop making comments like that because every time he does, I have to pray that much more just to keep him safe. He told me to not waste my prayers on him. He wasn’t religious and the only thing keeping him safe was himself and his own actions. I was so disgusted by that remark, I could feel it beaming from my face. He followed his reply with “do you think I need to be saved?” Of course I replied yes. He then went on talking about how if he felt I was always going to be intolerant of his agnosticist -ish (whateva) self that we would never work out and we should quit wasting each others’ time because he wasn’t going to change. I didn’t respond and chose to change the subject because I at least wanted to finish eating my dinner (I was real hungary, yes Hungary, and I did not want him ruining my appetite). He stopped eating; I asked if that was all; he said yeah then ran off to do some grocery shopping (code for crying).
Oh well, I feel great! It only took me three days to get over him. So if I do the calculations, three months were practically forgotten in three days. That’s bad news bears for me cuz if the formula really is a month a day… I better limit myself to six month relay-lays. I can’t be going a whole week moping around, yelling at folks, and making snide comments about a person. What they gone say at my jawb?!
Speaking of the job, the break up has given me a renewed interest in the cute guy at work. He has the same last name as some other guy here in Austin I used to hook up with… so I hope he doesn’t come attached with the same ass drama. Ante-way, we’ve been running into each other a lot lately in the hallways. The first time was on Friday. I was moving away from the water fountain as he was turning a corner. It was almost like in the movies, you know when two people bump into each other, their papers fly all around them but all they can do is stare into each others’ eyes and wonder where the other person has been all of their life. I guess it’s a good thing it wasn’t like the movies because we were both carrying half full bottles of water. Once I got back to my desk, I started listening to that Alicia Keys song, ‘You Don’t Know my Name” and thinking about him. So cheesy, I know. Oh well…
The second time we almost bumped into each other was on Monday. Same hallway, different door; this time I was turning the corner and he was walking by. Right before we collided (shit now I’m thinking about that Howie Day song, FML) he yelps, “woops, sorry Marvin.” I reply, “sorry” just like my friend Jess (sans the raised hand) and hurrilly scoot past him and around the corner. I take two steps and the first thing I mouth (and probably stated out loud without really thinking) was “he knows my name”. Yeah, I totes had a Helga Pataki moment. If only that engineer hadn’t been standing somewhere nearby breathing heavily….oh wait, Tom’s big ass was breathing hard when I walked back into my office still mouthing “he knows my name”. Ugh……..that man……….!
Now I’m starting to think that maybe my office crush is actually straight. I mean, we are in Texas. And despite the saying, the only things that come from Texas are NOT steers and queers (Although I wish that were true…….naa, jk). I thought he might of been because all of the guys I know with his last name (I mean literally every one of them) is into mussy (doesn’t that word just make you cringe) and if the golf attire didn’t register his straightness, maybe the 1950s pancake booty pants he wore today will. Idk……
