OMG that was awesome! But you are SO rude! You know who you are. That shit hurts, yo.
So ante-damn way, I’m almost super drunk (like an asian) from this wicked awesome apartment opening. It was a mixture of everything Ithaca, Austin, and Rome. I am uber relieved to hear people only show up to events looking for art/cheap apartments/free liquor (can you say aperativo)/free food/ public transit/ and young single folk (although one guy stated he wished for more sausage at the party).
I met quite a few people. Hopefully I remember them all. THat way I’ll have a new place to live, an intership with the local transit agency, another friend in real estate, and a lil somein’ somein’ on the side. ya-did-da-mean?
I saw two fuckers from HS/MS at the par-tay. They were staring at me everytime I passed. It’s like, if you’re really that fucking into spotting me, say something or quite staring at my ass. I obvi don’t care enough about you to come and strike up a convo so just get over it if you ain’t gone do nothin’. Damn I’m cuntry.
As I type I’m looking up their names of fb (don’t ask how that’s possible, i have no idea).
Well, I wish I could have taken more pics but the liquor was flowing (freely), the air was nippley (fo realz), and bitches were buggin’. So take what you can get.
P.s. I couldn’t reach the bathroom in time/the animal in me wanted to piss in public so I ran next to someone’s window and pissed outside (neither the po po nor the residents stopped me) and I ended up buying a hamburger only to eat half of it because I have serious issues with eating after 8pm (don’t ask me why).
K ciao!
P.S.s. Daniel/Ben Munguia… I LOVE U!!! I don’t care that you told your friends that I’m your ‘big poppa’ (cuz I’m not old) or that you’re super awkward around me cuz I was awkward towards you that first day we met. Let’s get over these things so we can celebrate my bday with some wine! Baby I’s cut like a buffalo!!!
PSS.PSSs.s. The band in the pic’s name is….Toilet Blue water or something wierd like that. No lie/no joke.
K bye fo real.
I'm so dope...
Here are more missed connections I thought were funny:
(w4w)
Subj: Gorgeous Gas Station Gal
Hi,
I looked at you from across the gas pump. It reeked of gas. You reeked of gay.
I hope I never reek of gay. I wouldn’t mind reeking of money, wine, grease; never anything that could also be described as a mixture of shit and astrolube.
You: Nigerian Me: Dumpley
The first time you wrote to me in all caps with poor spelling and grammer, I knew it was an instant attraction. I’ve been writing to you ever since to free you from Congalese slavery. I even faxed your London bank my account information. I promised not to tell anyone our secret and yet you haven’t written back to me ever since I helped you with that small financial matter. If you did find your way to town, I hope you also find this posting and seek me out through my website: [unimportant site].
I am kind of upset with this one. That damn Nigerian promised to visit ME. Hell, I wouldn’t of sent him that 2 grand if I knew he was mass mailing bitches for help. I don’t care how overworked he was as a Congalese slave. Now I’ll have to add another con on my list of “interactions with Nigerians.”
I wish someone would write a missed connection ‘bout me. I haven’t had one in months. I totally gauge my worth as a sexy ass motha lover based on the frequency of missed connections involving me. I’m so dope…
Tigermart panties...
I think I’m gonna start posting some of the unique missed connections I find on here. That way I’ll always remember them. Here’s the first one:
Subj: tigermart panties Thank you very much to the lady at the tigermart on 183 for the show. I really enjoyed watching you fill your tank in a short skirt, with your white lace panties, in the rain. It made my night!
I know it’s gonna sound like a broken record, but since I’ve been unemployed for the past three months, I’ve learned to appreciate mindless tv and Internet crap a little more. Sorry if it bores ya. Hopefully this new part time gig will make me a more interesting person… Yes my life’s worth depends on my occupation. So what. Hopefully my new job will let me discuss tigermart panties…
I’ve been listening to a lot of BBC Radio 1, BBC 6, and 104.7 Canberra. Just some music I thought would be great for mellowing out.
Some other great songs are Willy Mason’s “Oxygen” and Ayo’s “Lonely.”
Jess, you and I should follow these directions since it’s our life’s ambition to make an appearance on his site (well it’s mine anyway). I love this blog: http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/
About Me
*sigh*
